Thursday, February 18, 2010

Dispatch from the Sofa

A blissful Thursday evening during vacation week... so much more I could be doing (laundry, organizing closets, cleaning my attic, etc.), but instead I lay on the sofa bundled with my heating pad.

I'm blessed to have this break.

My husband, who inches ever-so-close to entering the land of hope, tells me to enjoy this time... because our home might soon be crawling with children. I love his optimism, but I can't ever, ever allow myself to join him.

The doctor tells me we have an 80 percent chance of success. I could, however, find two dozen women who were given the same odds and ultimately failed. So I choose to realize that IVF and donor eggs is like everything else in the ART world: a commodity. A profit. A risk worth taking, in their eyes, because they don't have to pay $20,000 for it.

For now, it's tempting to buy into this dream. I will likely never again be as pregnant as I will be in the next few weeks. After that, it's probably back to business as usual: the business of putting one foot in front of another and trying to make it all worthwhile.


  1. Hi, just found your blog through Stirrup Queen's. I'm interested in following along on your hopefully successful adventure. I've thought of taking the donor route myself. Still hoping it will work out the easier way for me, but it's not looking good. I'd love to hear more about how you decided to go this route and how much it all costs (that's what really scares me!). Best wishes!

  2. we're starting IVF with donor eggs soon too.. consult in two weeks yay! after so much failure it is really encouraging to hear the incredible success rates for egg donor cycles.. but yeah.. i hear you.. i always think we'll be on the wrong side of the percentage.. wishing you tons of luck!! :D

  3. Wow, those are great odds! I know, I know, odds aren't everything, and my IVF with a 70% chance of success didn't work out in the end, but I think there's definitely reason to hope. And also, I completely understand your trepidation at doing so. One of the worst things about IF is the way it stomps the hope right out of us. Good luck, and I look forward to reading more about your journey!